And now reppin' the sole Y chromosome on the crew, the guy who's been with our rookies since the first time they laced up with the TCRG. A dude who volunteers his time and runs practices in the freezing cold and the summer heat. At 9 in the morning. Outside. Even when only 5 of us layabouts show up. A dude who's not too cool to do visualization exercises. Ladies and gentlemen, get to know The Man with the Mane... The Suit on the Sidelines... The 'Fro in The Derby Know...
Our Coach, Mr. Laurence Of A Labia!
WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NAME?
No story, I just heard of the film and thought it was funny. Not taken from a Kevin Smith flick.
WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NUMBER?
As a coach I have no number, but if I had time for men's derby, or testosterby, my number would be zero in perentheses (0)
HOW MANY SEASONS HAVE YOU PLAYED?
Coached for 4 seasons or so I think
WHAT POSITION DO YOU PLAY?
Guy on bench yelling at refs and players.
WHAT DREW YOU TO DERBY?
The feminist aspect, and the ass.
WHAT'S YOUR BEST DERBY STORY?
Causing Snatchy to fall on her ass on a cocky breakaway.
WHAT'S THE MOST NON-DERBY THING YOU DO?
I can crochet the f*ck out af a touque, onesy or bikini.
SUPERMAN'S A MILD MANNERED REPORTER. BATMAN'S A MILLIONAIRE PLAYBOY. WHAT'S YOUR SECRET IDENTITY UP TO WHEN YOU HANG UP THE TIGHTS?
Metal fabricator
WHO WOULD PLAY YOU IN THE MOVIE OF YOUR LIFE?
Erik Estrada, Kurt Russell, Matthew McConoughey, Buck Flower, Ray Wise and Tim Meadows would all need to share the role.
A FASHION BLOG WANTS TO DO A SPREAD ON YOUR GAME DAY STYLE. HOW DO YOU DEFINE IT FOR THEM?
That's tough. Almost always has to be a 3 peice, no fucking pleats, and can rarely cost more than $40. "70's trailor serious business funk"
CAN YOU DRAW ME A PICTURE?
Does oragami count?
YOU JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS. WHAT DO YOU DO?
If only that were enough for a down payment on an East Van character house. So robot legs it is.
IF I COULD OPEN UP YOUR BRAIN AND DIRECT DEPOSIT A NEW SKILL, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
Vulcan nerve pinch.
DO YOU HAVE A SIGNATURE KARAOKE SONG?
No, well, maybe some Bowie, Ashes to ashes or something recorded in Berlin.
WHAT'S THE BEST PART OF BEING A RIOT GIRL?
We have a tank.
