Get to Know Your Riot Girls: The Man with The Plan

And now reppin' the sole Y chromosome on the crew, the guy who's been with our rookies since the first time they laced up with the TCRG. A dude who volunteers his time and runs practices in the freezing cold and the summer heat. At 9 in the morning. Outside. Even when only 5 of us layabouts show up. A dude who's not too cool to do visualization exercises. Ladies and gentlemen, get to know The Man with the Mane... The Suit on the Sidelines... The 'Fro in The Derby Know...

Our Coach, Mr. Laurence Of A Labia!

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NAME?

No story, I just heard of the film and thought it was funny. Not taken from a Kevin Smith flick.

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NUMBER?

As a coach I have no number, but if I had time for men's derby, or testosterby, my number would be zero in perentheses (0)

HOW MANY SEASONS HAVE YOU PLAYED?

Coached for 4 seasons or so I think

WHAT POSITION DO YOU PLAY?

Guy on bench yelling at refs and players.

WHAT DREW YOU TO DERBY?

The feminist aspect, and the ass.

WHAT'S YOUR BEST DERBY STORY?

Causing Snatchy to fall on her ass on a cocky breakaway.

WHAT'S THE MOST NON-DERBY THING YOU DO?

I can crochet the f*ck out af a touque, onesy or bikini.

SUPERMAN'S A MILD MANNERED REPORTER. BATMAN'S A MILLIONAIRE PLAYBOY. WHAT'S YOUR SECRET IDENTITY UP TO WHEN YOU HANG UP THE TIGHTS?

Metal fabricator

WHO WOULD PLAY YOU IN THE MOVIE OF YOUR LIFE?

Erik Estrada, Kurt Russell, Matthew McConoughey, Buck Flower, Ray Wise and Tim Meadows would all need to share the role.

A FASHION BLOG WANTS TO DO A SPREAD ON YOUR GAME DAY STYLE. HOW DO YOU DEFINE IT FOR THEM?

That's tough. Almost always has to be a 3 peice, no fucking pleats, and can rarely cost more than $40. "70's trailor serious business funk"

CAN YOU DRAW ME A PICTURE?

Does oragami count?

YOU JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS. WHAT DO YOU DO?

If only that were enough for a down payment on an East Van character house. So robot legs it is.

IF I COULD OPEN UP YOUR BRAIN AND DIRECT DEPOSIT A NEW SKILL, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

Vulcan nerve pinch.

DO YOU HAVE A SIGNATURE KARAOKE SONG?

No, well, maybe some Bowie, Ashes to ashes or something recorded in Berlin.

WHAT'S THE BEST PART OF BEING A RIOT GIRL?

We have a tank.

Get to Know Your Riot Girls! Hittin' Miss #MG-42

Here's where Terminal City's Riot Girls answer all of your burning questions! (Questions about your burning should be directed elsewhere.) Got a good one that didn't get covered? Email us!

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NAME?

Coming up with a name is easy. Getting a name approved is the hard part. On the deadline for name submissions and after having tested at least a dozen at Two Evils with no success, I was on a teleconference at work when my Director used the expression "hit and miss". Voila. A little play on the words and it was mine.

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NUMBER?

Better brush up on your history.

HOW MANY SEASONS HAVE YOU PLAYED?

Just wrapping up the first!

WHAT POSITION DO YOU PLAY?

Jammer primarily, but I'll do anything.

WHAT DREW YOU TO DERBY?

Oh so many things! I'm a washed up jock, so mostly the athletic challenge, but the action packed technicolour ruckus of it all was a definite pull as well. Motley Crusade-her once described derby as what happens when the jocks, the gay girls and the punk rockers get together and make up a game. Who in their wrong mind could resist?!

WHAT'S YOUR BEST DERBY STORY?

I'll plead the fifth on that one.

WHAT'S THE MOST NON-DERBY THING YOU DO?

I guess it's a toss up between curl and can.

SUPERMAN'S A MILD MANNERED REPORTER. BATMAN'S A MILLIONAIRE PLAYBOY. WHAT'S YOUR SECRET IDENTITY UP TO WHEN YOU HANG UP THE TIGHTS?

I work for a funding agency that supports research in science and engineering.

WHO WOULD PLAY YOU IN THE MOVIE OF YOUR LIFE?

If it can't be me and Tank Girl isn't available, it would have to be the honey badger.

CAN YOU DRAW ME A PICTURE?

Yup, but I'd rather bake you a cake.

YOU JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS. WHAT DO YOU DO?

Pay off a few bills, take a vacation, make a few investments for the long term and then start looking into that apartment in Paris I always wanted...You Soldiers of Awesome don't mind skating on the champ de mars, do you?

IF I COULD OPEN UP YOUR BRAIN AND DIRECT DEPOSIT A NEW SKILL, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

Fluency in every language.

DO YOU HAVE A SIGNATURE KARAOKE SONG?

Lucky for you, no. My singing will make your ears bleed, but I can work a mic like nobody's business.

IF YOU HAD A PERSONALIZED MARTIAL ART, WHAT WOULD IT BE CALLED?

Mega-pow!

WHAT'S THE BEST PART OF BEING A RIOT GIRL?

Gestalt, my friend, gestalt.

Get to Know Your Riot Girls! Hurt Russell #46

Here's where Terminal City's Riot Girls answer all of your burning questions! (Questions about your burning should be directed elsewhere.) Got a good one that didn't get covered? Email us!

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NAME?

I kind of love Kurt Russell. Capital 'L', I admit it. He's played some of the most amazing characters of our time! But, no matter how far I tried to take a pun, I couldn't come up with a derby-ized version of any of 'em that hadn't already been taken. I was lamenting this sad fact to a good buddy of mine, when he blurted it out. Talk about a *facepalm* moment. How'd I miss that?! Lesson learned: never leave home without a comedy writer.

SPEAKING OF KURT RUSSELL... SNAKE PLISSKEN AND RJ MACREADY IN A WRESTLING MATCH. WHO WINS?

EVERYONE PRESENT. EVERYONE.

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NUMBER?

46 is the official body count of Big Trouble In Little China (one of the Holy Trinity of Kurt Russell movies.)

HOW MANY SEASONS HAVE YOU PLAYED?

7/8ths of one. Newbie Newberson over here.

WHAT POSITION DO YOU PLAY?

A lady never discloses! Wait.. What? Oh. My bad, I'm not wearing my glasses. Uh... I'll find out on game day, but I really dig blocking right now. (Read: I'm tired of being a human pinball for now, but I'll revisit jamming again in the future.)

WHAT DREW YOU TO DERBY?

I ended up taking a couple friends to watch my buddy Amazombie in the home opener last season. I had no freakin' idea what was going on, but I knew I wanted in. I had made a conscious decision earlier in the year to do something just for me, busy myself up a little. Holy crap - be careful what you wish for!

WHAT'S YOUR BEST DERBY STORY?

It ain't the best, but it's G rated ;) When I decided to give it a go, I had to find a pair of skates.

I wasn't ready to get a full rig yet (not knowing if I'd even dig it) and you try finding a pair of Craigslist derby skates in size 'midget'. I tried out for the TCRG in rollerskates my buddy Eden'd been holding on to since she was 9 years old.

WHAT'S THE MOST NON-DERBY THING YOU DO?

I'm addicted to terrible/awesome SyFy television shows. I embroider portraits of Will Ferrell as Robert Goulet. I read comic books under the bedsheets to hide from the website I'm trying to build... (I'm almost positive the internet is run by evil sorcerers, and I fear that Wordpress may be sentient and feeding on my fear.)

SUPERMAN'S A MILD MANNERED REPORTER. BATMAN'S A MILLIONAIRE PLAYBOY. WHAT'S YOUR SECRET IDENTITY UP TO WHEN YOU HANG UP THE TIGHTS?

I run The Dreadquarters, a salon on Commercial Drive that specializes in dreadlocks and other

off-the-wall hair. No big deal, just the coolest gig ever...

WHO WOULD PLAY YOU IN THE MOVIE OF YOUR LIFE?

Rodney Dangerfield!

CAN YOU DRAW ME A PICTURE?

Not really, but you asked so nicely! Here's a non-artistic rendering I did of Ozzy Osbourne, delighted as a small child with his foam cannon. (It was a weird show.)

YOU JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS. WHAT DO YOU DO?

I buy an abandoned summer camp and move in with all my buddies. We fortify against the coming (insert-your-favourite-end-times-here) and host Metalocalypse Karaoke in the mess hall on Tuesdays. I wouldn't even have to worry about investing any of that cool mil - I'll just wait for the reality shows to come knocking! (It's good to have a backup plan.)

IF I COULD OPEN UP YOUR BRAIN AND DIRECT DEPOSIT A NEW SKILL, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

This is great, because I love to know things! I just hate learning them. Sucking at stuff is for the birds! So, I would like to be instantly good at the following:

a) driving. (If you'd like to do a sister a solid, feel free to email!)

b) fly fishing

c) dungeons and dragons

DO YOU HAVE A SIGNATURE KARAOKE SONG?

I'm currently working on mastering the key change in Bon Jovi's classic "Livin' On a Prayer". Once I get that locked tight, you're gonna have to fight me off the stage. I'm taking that sh*t on the road, Duets styles. (Huey Lewis shout-out!)

WHAT'S THE BEST PART OF BEING A RIOT GIRL?

I'm pretty sure I could call on one of these girls to second me in a knife fight just as easily as I could ask 'em to take me to Costco. Pretty sure...

Get to know your Riot Girls! Cassandra Pain #99

Here's where Terminal City's Riot Girls answer all of your burning questions! (Questions about your burning should be directed elsewhere.) Got a good one that didn't get covered? Email us!

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NAME?

Choosing a name is incredibly difficult. I wanted something that was fun and meant something to me. Batman is my favourite comic bookcharacter/superhero but I'm a girl so I didn't want to use anything Batman related. I moved onto Batgirl. My favourite Batgirl is Cassandra Cain (raised mute to use the language parts of her brain tounderstand/predict body language). I changed Cain to Pain and Cassandra Pain was born.

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NUMBER?
Cassandra Cain became Batgirl in 1999. Shortened it to 99.

HOW MANY SEASONS HAVE YOU PLAYED?
This is my rookie year!

WHAT POSITION DO YOU PLAY?
Wherever they put me. I'm working on learning the positions and where I play best.

WHAT DREW YOU TO DERBY?
A friend of mine (Iona Beerwagon – Faster Pussycats) plays and I'd always been interested. I saw the season opener last year and was hooked. I bought my skates a few weeks later and joined up with some other derby hopefuls (now organized and full of more awesome – RawMeat) to practice for tryouts! I've never liked traditional sports.I'm always drawn to less mainstream activities, and I HATE working out, so it has to be fun. Thus, I play roller derby.

WHAT'S YOUR BEST DERBY STORY?
There are too many to break it down to just one. One of my favourites was when I was jamming and broke out of the pack. I looked into the stands and saw my Monster cheering like a crazy person. That was pretty awesome.

WHAT'S THE MOST NON-DERBY THING YOU DO?
I'm not sure I understand the question. Is being a mom non-derby? Because I have my very own 5 year old Monster.

SUPERMAN'S A MILD MANNERED REPORTER. BATMAN'S A MILLIONAIRE PLAYBOY.WHAT'S YOUR SECRET IDENTITY UP TO WHEN YOU HANG UP THE TIGHTS?
If I told you I'd have to kill you ;)

SPEAKING OF BATMAN... YOU'RE ALONE IN THE BATCAVE. SECURITY'S DOWN, ALFRED'S ON A COFFEE BREAK, AND THERE'S NO WAY YOU'LL BE CAUGHT. WHAT DO YOU DO?

Take the Batmobile for a spin of course! Who doesn't want to drive theBatmobile?!

WHO WOULD PLAY YOU IN THE MOVIE OF YOUR LIFE?
Oh who knows... I've been told I look like Darryl Hannah...

CAN YOU DRAW ME A PICTURE?
Can I? Yes. Will it look good? No.

YOU JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS. WHAT DO YOU DO?
Everyone else has already said it, but buy the TCRG a new home. Travel the world (in the off season of course!). After that I'd spend mymoney on a new house complete with a comic room full of shiny new comics.

IF I COULD OPEN UP YOUR BRAIN AND DIRECT DEPOSIT A NEW SKILL, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
Can I choose time/space travel? Because that'd be awesome!

DO YOU HAVE A SIGNATURE KARAOKE SONG?
Not so much. I'm up for making a fool of myself with whatever comes up!

WHAT'S THE BEST PART OF BEING A RIOT GIRL?

The amazing group of women I get to play and work with. Everyonebrings something different to the table and we're all super supportiveof each other. I've never played team sports so I feel super lucky tohave such a wonderful team!!

Get to know your Riot Girls! Sundown #11:11

Here's where Terminal City's Riot Girls answer all of your burning questions! (Questions about your burning should be directed elsewhere.) Got a good one that didn't get covered? Email us!

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NAME?

I had initially submitted something very different as my derby name, but it couldn't be shortened and was hard to say on the track (I bet you're wondering what that name was now).

After a few sleepless nights, and way too much anxiety for the situation, I woke up to a Saturday morning e-mail with the words "derby name submission extended until Monday".

It was both relieving and stressful because I needed to resubmit something better suited for me. Pressure was building and I came to the conclusion that I would be happy with a name that my Mother thought of because she is my rock. If she chose my name then she would always be with me when I played, and everything I did in derbyland would be a tribute to her.

Her first suggestion was 'Wonderwoman', which made me crinkle my eyebrows a little bit... and I gave her a little more to work with: "I was thinking a play on something that was between you and I... like you know how you call me your Sunshine? I was thinking 'Unshine', but that's taken" to which she responded with MUCH enthusiasm 'SUNDOWN'! The rest is history.

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NUMBER?

There was a point in my life where I noticed that I kept catching myself looking at the clock at 11:11... in reality there isn't anything particularly special about it that makes it any different from any other time on a clock - but the feeling of solidarity that the four ones gave me struck a chord in me.

Not long after Google swept the nation, I found that there is a newage idea that denotes 11:11 as a special time when one can make wishes (among other things). Loving making wishes on shooting stars, I naturally gravitated to this idea... and so that's why 11:11 is my number.

HOW MANY SEASONS HAVE YOU PLAYED?

This is my very first season

WHAT POSITION DO YOU PLAY?

I wear the panties (Pivot & Jammer)

WHAT DREW YOU TO DERBY?

A coworker at the time told me about it and invited me to tryout, and to watch a bout last season. When I went to the bout, it completely affirmed my desire to be a derby MACHINE.

WHAT'S YOUR BEST DERBY STORY?

I am not the best derby story-teller, lol.

WHAT'S THE MOST NON-DERBY THING YOU DO?

I take photos. Lots of them.

SUPERMAN'S A MILD MANNERED REPORTER. BATMAN'S A MILLIONAIRE PLAYBOY. WHAT'S YOUR SECRET IDENTITY UP TO WHEN YOU HANG UP THE TIGHTS?

A hermit that hides out and wears hoodies and sunglasses when she ventures out. A chameleon type that blends into the background. Wallflower super sleuth that quietly riots.

WHO WOULD PLAY YOU IN THE MOVIE OF YOUR LIFE?

I would play myself, cause i'm the best at being me.

CAN YOU DRAW ME A PICTURE?

Yes: (/'o')/ .O(Woo!)

YOU JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS. WHAT DO YOU DO?

Hire a financial advisor and figure out how to make it make money for me year after year. At that point i'd allot percentages to myself, family members, special people in my life, and causes that are close to my heart.

IF I COULD OPEN UP YOUR BRAIN AND DIRECT DEPOSIT A NEW SKILL, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

The ability to maintain a healthy balance in my life under any circumstance.

DO YOU HAVE A SIGNATURE KARAOKE SONG?

"Whats your fantasy" by Ludacris (Not appropriate for young ears)

YOU FIND SOMEONE'S BEEN CREEPIN' ROUND YOUR BACK STAIRS. WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?

Booby trap, or booty block - depending on the scenario. Either way, they better take care.

WHAT'S THE BEST PART OF BEING A RIOT GIRL?

The team. Such a well rounded fantastic group of down to earth ladies that really care about each other on and off the track. I really appreciate my team, they all hold very special places in my heart.

Get to know your Riot Girls! D.A. DaRuckus #8-TEAM

Here's where Terminal City's Riot Girls answer all of your burning questions! (Questions about your burning should be directed elsewhere.) Got a good one that didn't get covered? Email us!

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NAME?

i love the a-team and i wanted to pay homage to mr. t's character b.a. baracus. before that it was afro dezee smack as a front runner. i love my name.

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NUMBER?

a-team= 8-team. pretty nifty huh?

HOW MANY SEASONS HAVE YOU PLAYED?

still in my first one

WHAT POSITION DO YOU PLAY?

uhhh supposedly a number 3 blocker and wanna be jammer. ultimately, i want to get good enough to be an almighty jammer.

WHAT DREW YOU TO DERBY?

chicks being super heroes on roller skates playing a tough sport while dressed in these incredible boutfits?! do you even need to ask??!

WHAT'S THE MOST NON-DERBY THING YOU DO?

i'm learning about motorcycles and all that nifty mechanical stuff. i've found my newest passion and i'd like to make a hobby out of it.

SUPERMAN'S A MILD MANNERED REPORTER. BATMAN'S A MILLIONAIRE PLAYBOY. WHAT'S YOUR SECRET IDENTITY UP TO WHEN YOU HANG UP THE TIGHTS?

professional hater. just kidding (maybe). let's just say i get things done.

WHO WOULD PLAY YOU IN THE MOVIE OF YOUR LIFE?

eve (and yes, she was in whip it so i know she can skate).

CAN YOU DRAW ME A PICTURE?

yeah picture this, me smokin' chicks all over the track. boom.

YOU JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS. WHAT DO YOU DO?

quit my job, travel to all my dream destinations, buy a motorcycle, buy a warehouse and give tcrg a proper home.

IF I COULD OPEN UP YOUR BRAIN AND DIRECT DEPOSIT A NEW SKILL, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

the ability to skate fearlessly.

DO YOU HAVE A SIGNATURE KARAOKE SONG?

holding out for a hero by bonnie tyler (though i can't hit the high notes).

MR T WANTS ME TO DRINK MY MILK, STAY IN SCHOOL, AND RESPECT MY MOTHER. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

drink your guinness/jack/cranberry juice (whatever floats yer boat) never let a man or a lover derail your dreams and respect yourself first and foremost.

WHAT'S THE BEST PART OF BEING A RIOT GIRL?

being a solider of awesome amongst other soldiers of awesome. we come from such diverse backgrounds and there's every type of woman on this team. as well our coach is extremely dedicated to the sport. and come on, we get to rock red & camo. best team colours in the league. there, i said it.

Get to know your Riot Girls! Honey Habanero #62

Here's where Terminal City's Riot Girls answer all of your burning questions! (Questions about your burning should be directed elsewhere.) Got a good one that didn't get covered? Email us!

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NAME?

It’s cute and fun and I love alliteration!

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NUMBER?

My oldest daughter was 6 when I started playing and my youngest was 2.

HOW MANY SEASONS HAVE YOU PLAYED?

This is my rookie year.

WHAT POSITION DO YOU PLAY?

Back Blocker

WHAT DREW YOU TO DERBY?

The physicality of a full-contact women’s sport that you play while wearing fishnets AND be able to join while in your 30’s with little to no experience. I mean really, who wouldn’t?!?!?!

WHAT'S YOUR BEST DERBY STORY?

During my 25 lap endurance testing I spiraled out of control somewhere around lap 24, landed on Suzy Shameless’s lap then continued on skating to complete my 25. Nothing like a little mid skate lap-dance to keep things interesting.

WHAT'S THE MOST NON-DERBY THING YOU DO?

Get dolled up and wear heels everyday to work in the corporate world of Real Estate Development.

SUPERMAN'S A MILD MANNERED REPORTER. BATMAN'S A MILLIONAIRE PLAYBOY. WHAT'S YOUR SECRET IDENTITY UP TO WHEN YOU HANG UP THE TIGHTS?

Suburban mom.

WHO WOULD PLAY YOU IN THE MOVIE OF YOUR LIFE?

Julia Roberts crossed with Sandra Bullock.

CAN YOU DRAW ME A PICTURE?

I can, but will I?

YOU JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS. WHAT DO YOU DO?

Buy a giant warehouse. I think I know a few girls that could use one. That, and build a fortress.

IF I COULD OPEN UP YOUR BRAIN AND DIRECT DEPOSIT A NEW SKILL, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

Speed.

DO YOU HAVE A SIGNATURE KARAOKE SONG?

Not any one song just as long as I sing it in my car. Alone.

YOU'RE JUST SITTING DOWN TO A FAMILY DINNER WHEN A TEAM OF NINJAS CRASHES THROUGH YOUR WINDOW! WHAT DO YOU DO?!

Suckerpunch. Stop. Drop and ROLL!

WHAT'S THE BEST PART OF BEING A RIOT GIRL?

Knowing you have all these amazing fellow Soldiers of Awesome that have your back! I’ve never felt such a feeling of belonging.

Get to know your Riot Girls! Shift Kicker #27

Here's where Terminal City's Riot Girls answer all of your burning questions! (Questions about your burning should be directed elsewhere.) Got a good one that didn't get covered? Email us!

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NAME?

My 6yr old (at the time) son named me after his favorite Hot Wheels car. He had no idea why the word "Shift" is funny to adults.

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NUMBER?

Was my bike courier call number

HOW MANY SEASONS HAVE YOU PLAYED?

5

WHAT POSITION DO YOU PLAY?

blocker- preferably back

WHAT DREW YOU TO DERBY?

Um, it's awesome.

WHAT'S YOUR BEST DERBY STORY?

That's for private.

WHAT'S THE MOST NON-DERBY THING YOU DO?

I crochet doilies. Really pretty doilies.

YOU GET HAMMERED AND DECIDE TO START A BAND! WHAT DO YOU CALL IT?

Sancho Hamwich and His Harlots

SUPERMAN'S A MILD MANNERED REPORTER. BATMAN'S A MILLIONAIRE PLAYBOY. WHAT'S YOUR SECRET IDENTITY UP TO WHEN YOU HANG UP THE TIGHTS?

Nerdy suburban housewife

WHO WOULD PLAY YOU IN THE MOVIE OF YOUR LIFE?

Shirley Temple

CAN YOU DRAW ME A PICTURE?

I could, but I would have to charge you major coin. I went to art school, you know.

YOU JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS. WHAT DO YOU DO?

Buy a roller rink

IF I COULD OPEN UP YOUR BRAIN AND DIRECT DEPOSIT A NEW SKILL, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

Mind reading

DO YOU HAVE A SIGNATURE KARAOKE SONG?

Nope. I am too uncool for karaoke.

WHAT'S THE BEST PART OF BEING A RIOT GIRL?

My team mates are amazing.

Get to know your Riot Girls! Stoli Von Stingray #750ml

Here's where Terminal City's Riot Girls answer all of your burning questions! (Questions about your burning should be directed elsewhere.) Got a good one that didn't get covered? Email us!

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NAME?

Stoli = just delicious

Stingray = a hot car. Muscley and powerful. A mean, pointy little creature.

Von = adds a touch of class. I’m 100% class, right down the line.

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NUMBER?

it's a good size bottle

HOW MANY SEASONS HAVE YOU PLAYED?

4-ish?

WHAT DREW YOU TO DERBY?

At first, it looked like a sport for non-athletes. It was the freaks and rad cool women doing sports, not ‘typical jocks.’ I was not an athlete before roller derby. I saw the Rollergirls A&E show and thought, wow, maybe I could do this too! I need to do this!

(I found out later it is a sport for athletes, and that makes it even more awesome!)

WHAT'S THE BEST PART OF BEING A RIOT GIRL?

All of it!

SUPERMAN'S A MILD MANNERED REPORTER. BATMAN'S A MILLIONAIRE PLAYBOY.

WHAT'S YOUR SECRET IDENTITY UP TO WHEN YOU HANG UP THE TIGHTS?

I’m a sometimes cranky health librarian.

CAN YOU DRAW ME A PICTURE?

Find any 3-year-old child and use their picture. My talents lie elsewhere.

YOU JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS! WHAT DO YOU DO?

Buy the TCRG a warehouse already!

Buy a transition house for rape relief & women’s shelter

Buy me a house!

Take a super-extended vacation to a tropical paradise or 2 or 3 or more

Rent an MRI and hyperbaric oxygen chamber and orthopedic surgeon from the Canucks for the TCRG

Visit the polar bears in Churchill Manitoba, adopt them, and make the ice come back.

Please make it $10 million dollars that I win, along with magical anti-global warming powers!

(got a bit carried away with that one)

WHAT'S THE RECIPE FOR YOUR SIGNATURE DRINK?

Hmm, where to start….there’s a few:

1) Vanilla stoli & limoncello, over ice

2) Raspberry stoli & juice, any juice

3) Straight up stoli

4) Ice, arnica & ibuprofen: the three-pronged approach

Get to know your Riot Girls! Vendetta von Bang #19

Here's where Terminal City's Riot Girls answer all of your burning questions! (Questions about your burning should be directed elsewhere.) Got a good one that didn't get covered? Email us!

WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH YOUR NAME? I had wanted to use my burlesque stage name Foxy von Bang, but there was already a Foxy. My husband suggested Vendetta, and I'm glad, I like it better.

VENDETTA, DEFINED AS 'AN OFTEN PROLONGED SERIES OF RETALIATORY, VENGEFUL, OR HOSTILE ACTS'. WHAT'S THE MOST VENGEFUL THING YOU'VE EVER CONTEMPLATED? Contemplated? How about done? I had these horrible upstairs neighbours who poisoned my cat Ludwig (bless his little cat soul). Before we moved out I broke into their house and put raw fish in their bedposts and curtain finials.

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NUMBER? The number chose me. It was given to me when I started playing soccer as a little kid (Hastings-Sunrise, yo) and I always seemed to get it assigned to me throughout the years.

HOW MANY SEASONS HAVE YOU PLAYED? I've been with the Riot Girls since 2008, although I didn't skate last season because I was building a baby in my belly.

WHAT POSITION DO YOU PLAY? Blocker

WHAT DREW YOU TO DERBY? Skating fast and hitting bitches...seriously what is not love about that?

WHAT'S THE MOST NON-DERBY THING YOU DO? I hate these questions...define 'non-derby'? We are such a diverse group of women...sigh....here goes...I make my own baby food.

WHO WOULD PLAY YOU IN THE MOVIE OF YOUR LIFE? Fozzy Bear.

SUPERMAN'S A MILD MANNERED REPORTER. BATMAN'S A MILLIONAIRE PLAYBOY. WHAT'S YOUR SECRET IDENTITY UP TO WHEN YOU HANG UP THE TIGHTS? Normally, I work for a major Canadian University, in Cooperative Education, connecting students and employers for work term experience. Currently I'm on mat leave and play with my baby all day long. It's kind of rad.

IF I COULD OPEN UP YOUR BRAIN AND DIRECT DEPOSIT A NEW SKILL, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE? More patience for these questions.

DO YOU HAVE A SIGNATURE KARAOKE SONG? Yes, George Michael's 'I Want Your Sex' and it is epic.

WHAT'S THE BEST PART OF BEING A RIOT GIRL? Everything. We are Soliders of Awesome.

Faster Pussycats: EXPOSED!

For months now, TCRG's Cinderella-story Faster Pussycats have been claiming the secret to their success lies in nothing more than teamwork, togetherness, and potluck dinners...

this past Saturday, at All Teams On the Track, we found out the REAL story.

WE LOVE THE PUSSYCATS! (Even though they are obviously witches who have made somesort of devil-pact to be this freakin' good at roller derby. We can't even stop cheering for them when we're playing them, such is their sorcery! Plus, they're all really really nice!) Really, it's pretty amazing how hard this team has worked to turn it around. We like playing with the Pussycats so much we don't even mind if they kinda wipe the floor with us. Besides, we got our licks in too, thankyouverymuch! Easily the most fun bout of the season yet - hope it was as fun to watch as it was to play. Thanks to everyone for coming out, we really love you all!

*all photos butchered in this post were originally totally awesome shots by Todd Holbrook. Go see the real stuff here!*

Rollin' Out

It's with a heavy heart (yeah, it turns out we do have those!) that your favourite band of motley mercenaries announces the retirement of #007 Percy Galore, mistress of the pack and general babe-about-town.

Try to control your wailing and your gnashing of teeth, friends. Percy ain't sure she's hanging up her skates for good just yet, and we're willing to bet that she'll be popping up again... somewhere. (Some little league in some tiny town is going to hear the Littlest Hobo theme song and wonder what the hell...)


Riot Girls for Life, dude. The door to the Compound is always open (and if I'm passed out in front of it, just use the secret knock. We'll have our monkey butler by then for sure!) We'll miss you.

AN ANNOUNCEMENT TOTALLY WORTHY OF WAY MORE FANFARE THAN THIS TERRIBLE MS PAINT DRAWING! (which took 2 hours of my work day, thankyouverymuch.)

Us Riot Girls are just pleased as punch (Dammit, I said as punch! Stand down!) to announce that our sister in arms Stoli Von Stingray has been drafted to the Terminal City All Stars!

This is kind of a big deal, folks. The All Stars are the best of the best, and Stoli's not only a great pick up for them, but she'll be bringing all kinds of secret-squirrel strategy back to the Compound for us! To this we say fine, All Stars. We aren't the jealous type. But just so you know, we've got our eyes on you.

Huge Congrats go out to our girl Stoli, and to all the new additions to this season's All Star roster!

Why Can't We Be Friends? (To the tune of 'Why Can't We Be Friends?')

Tomorrow's game day people, and you've got scant little time to pick up those cheap advance tickets! (Haha, yeah right. We know you got yours weeks ago... *wink* ) Us fine young Canadian girls and our sisters down south are going toestop to toestop once again!

First whistle of the wicked amazing, totally outrageous DOUBLE FREAKIN' HEADER blows at 6pm and that's when we, your Soldiers of Awesome, take to the track to take down The Tidepool, up across the border from Tacoma's Dockyard Derby Dames! We've been training hella hard (yeah, even during the Cup run. Yes, seriously!) and we're ready to freakin' rampage at the PNE Forum. Bring your loudest battle cries, Riot Fans - we're eyeing that first win at home!

Stick around for the second bout of the night when the league champion Bad Reputations take on the Taco Kickers outta Everett, Washington. It's gonna be awesome, you can quote me on that.

VICTORY!

photo by Jolene Hanson

You're welcome, Canada. Your honour is safe, and you can continue spelling it with that unnecessary 'u', because us gals went to Battle For the Border - and we return triumphant! Final score, 156 - 87. Much love to Tiki Timebomb, Apocaliz Now, SHASH'em Moiselle,

and Juwanna Rawk for converting to the camo for the evening!

We wanna thank the Whidbey Island RollerGirls for showing us a rad time, and for sharing their photos of the game* with us. Hope to see you ladies north of the 49 soon!

*all photos copyright Jolene Hanson. Thanks for lending us the link!

A STAR IS WORN!

Team Building. Usually, it means your boss shipping you off to some hippie retreat led by a vaguely Swedish dude who makes you do trust falls with 'Mr. Smelly Lunch' from three cubicles over. That kind of touchy-feely-talk-about-your-chi crap might work for your average pencil pushing middle management, but what are you going do when your job is to skate fast, get low, and hit hard?

In the time-honored tradition of hoodlums, sailors and soldiers alike, the Riot Girls took their newly drafted rookies and drilled some team spirit into 'em. Literally.

Thanks to everyone at Funhouse Tattoo for helping us fill in that "distinguishing marks" line on the rap sheet. For more photos of the girls and their brand spankin' new tattoos, cruise over to the Flickr Gallery. (Gimme a day or two to remember the password...) (Got it! Photos are up for your perusing pleasure.)

RAPTURE ROAD TRIP!

So, lemme get this straight. The righteous are gonna spend this long weekend floating up into the Heavens..? HA! Thank goodness that ain't gonna affect our numbers any!


(Besides, we booked a private box for the Apocalypse. They do not want to lose our deposit.)


Since we know all you Riot Girls fans'll be sticking around with us on this here earthly plane, have we got the party for you! The Whidbey Island Roller Girls have invited us down south to Battle for The Border! 

Doors open at 5:30 at Skagit Skate in Burlington, Washington (where I'm told there is no Coat Factory) and expect that first whistle at 6. Click here for details and ticket info, and we'll see you all stateside!

JUNE 11 !

Game day's coming up quick, and your Riot Girls have been doing nothing but practice for a solid month to get ready to set the tide out on the Derby Dames! Seriously, Coach made us practice at 9. 9 AM. It's like a Rocky pre-fight montage around the compound these days...

In the next couple weeks we'll be posting photos and stories to help you get to know the new Terminal City RollerGirls Riot Girls! If you've got pics you'd like to share, or questions you'd like to ask, email us at RiotGirlsTCRG@gmail.com

OPEN SEASON!